


when i say "unhealthy" you say "coping"

by dollgore



Category: original character - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 12:17:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13501522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollgore/pseuds/dollgore
Summary: what can i fucking say at this point





	when i say "unhealthy" you say "coping"

"hi mom."  
she took a shaky breath in, placing her hand upon the gravestone and gripping it tightly. an angel sat upon the top of it, her hands clasped together and her face serene. robes flowed off of the angel in waves, and her porcelain hair curled around her shoulders. her feathery wings were outstretched, grayed and filthy from months in the rain.  
"i've been thinking about you a lot, lately. not that that's a bad thing or anything. but i've been thinking."  
she placed her forehead against the stone, breathing as slowly as she could. she rocked back and forth, biting her lip.  
the angel stared down at her, waiting. watching. listening.  
the angel was a protector of the corpse below.  
"i miss you. i miss you all the time."  
a shudder went through her, and she bit her lip harder to keep herself from crying. "i miss you so, so much."  
she paused, her heart beating painfully in her chest.  
"i'm so sorry i let him hurt you. you didn't deserve that. you didn't deserve it."  
tears began to slide down her face.  
"he was so angry, mom. at everything. he was angry at the world and everything he saw in it, because all he saw in everything was himself and he _hated_ himself, and he wanted to hurt what he saw."  
another shaky breath passed through her lungs. "you were the single contradiction to his hateful world, and he didn't understand why you were so good in a world that hated him so much. he thought it was some sort of trap against him set up by the universe. he loved you. but he hated you, too."  
her salty tears dripped down her face and off her chin, where they hit the cemetary dirt where her mother was buried. the angel watched on, silent, but comforting.  
"i let him hurt you. he hated me most of all and he used me to hurt you. i let him do it, mom. and you didn't deserve it."  
a little sob escaped her, and it was all she could do to not curl up and start sobbing right then and there.  
"i want you back. i'd do anything to have you back, i swear to god i would, mom. it's all my fault. i want it to go back to the way it used to be; just you and me, laughing and having fun and being together. that's all i want."  
she hit her forehead against the tombstone, as if to alleviate her sorrow with pain. "i keep thinking that one day, you'll be waiting for me at home and you'll be there and we'll be okay, and you'll be back and nobody will have to be sad anymore."  
a slight breeze blew the wind around her face, and she began to speak very quietly.  
"but you're happy where you are now, and he's in a place where he can't ever hurt you ever again. never. dad will never hurt you again, i swear."  
"but mom." she paused, trying to gather up her thoughts. "i've been thinking about you, and i think it would be best if i said goodbye. permanently."  
fresh tears sprung in upon this, and she covered her face with a sleeve. "i can't keep pretending you'll come back someday, because then i'll never get over this. i'll never get over you. i have to leave. i have to forget, mom. i have to."  
the angel approved of this statement, she concluded, looking at its pale face.  
"i love you so much, mom. i miss you so much. but i'm going to have to leave, and stay away this time. i keep saying i will, and i end up coming back anyways, but this time i mean it. this is goodbye."  
she stood up shakily, barely able to speak in a whisper. she swallowed past the lump in her throat, and squeezed the stone with her hand one last time.  
"goodbye, mom. i love you. i'll... see you later."

karma stood at the cemetary gate, her hand on the iron bars. she did not want to leave, and had to work up the resolve to leave before she could do it.  
somewhere, as the wind blew again and ruffled her hair, she could faintly hear someone say, _"why so blue, tootsie-roll? cheer up! let's go have some fun, huh?"  
she remembered chaste little kisses on the nose and a freckled face and a toothy smile, and she remembered staying up way too late and being too tired in the morning, and she remembered asking someone if "we're really best friends?" amd being elated when they said yes, and she longed for these things she did not know._

_"bye, mom."_

_karma left._


End file.
